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Paranoid Parrot

Proposes with a text message It's been one minute, why hasn't she replied?

Proposes with a text message It's been one minute, why hasn't she replied? Paranoid Parrot
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Ear is itchy I probably have a cockroach in my ear

Ear is itchy I probably have a cockroach in my ear Paranoid Parrot
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"Damn it Phyllis" makes it to front page Reddit Killed Phyllis Diller

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Left drink alone in kitchen. Pretend to drink so they dont know I am on to them.

Left drink alone in kitchen. Pretend to drink so they dont know I am on to them. Paranoid Parrot
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accidentally brush girls ass in lunch line she thinks im a perv.

accidentally brush girls ass in lunch line she thinks im a perv. Paranoid Parrot
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own lots of books house is a fire magnet

own lots of books house is a fire magnet Paranoid Parrot
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Smoke one cigarette dying of cancer

Smoke one cigarette dying of cancer Paranoid Parrot
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hears car door slam door bell ring is eminent

hears car door slam door bell ring is eminent Paranoid Parrot
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go into public bathroom stall and lock the door hold door shut anyway

go into public bathroom stall and lock the door hold door shut anyway Paranoid Parrot
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Friends are silent for 5 minutes during car ride. They hate me.

Friends are silent for 5 minutes during car ride. They hate me. Paranoid Parrot
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