Paranoid Parrot

Proposes with a text message It's been one minute, why hasn't she replied?

Proposes with a text message It's been one minute, why hasn't she replied?  Paranoid Parrot

Ear is itchy I probably have a cockroach in my ear

Ear is itchy I probably have a cockroach in my ear  Paranoid Parrot

"Damn it Phyllis" makes it to front page Reddit Killed Phyllis Diller

Left drink alone in kitchen. Pretend to drink so they dont know I am on to them.

Left drink alone in kitchen. Pretend to drink so they dont know I am on to them.   Paranoid Parrot

accidentally brush girls ass in lunch line she thinks im a perv.

accidentally brush girls ass in lunch line she thinks im a perv.  Paranoid Parrot

own lots of books house is a fire magnet

own lots of books house is a fire magnet  Paranoid Parrot

Smoke one cigarette dying of cancer

Smoke one cigarette dying of cancer  Paranoid Parrot

hears car door slam door bell ring is eminent

hears car door slam door bell ring is eminent  Paranoid Parrot

go into public bathroom stall and lock the door hold door shut anyway

go into public bathroom stall and lock the door hold door shut anyway  Paranoid Parrot

Friends are silent for 5 minutes during car ride. They hate me.

Friends are silent for 5 minutes during car ride. They hate me.   Paranoid Parrot
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