Paranoid Parrot

gets a pocket-dialed voicemail listens to scrambling for two minutes in case someone mentions his name

gets a pocket-dialed voicemail listens to scrambling for two minutes in case someone mentions his name  Paranoid Parrot

gifs now have .jpg extensions never look at any picture more than 5 seconds

gifs now have .jpg extensions never look at any picture more than 5 seconds  Paranoid Parrot

Accidentally bites into foil around breakfast burrito Gets stomach pumped

Accidentally bites into foil around breakfast burrito Gets stomach pumped  Paranoid Parrot

Crtl + S to save click the save button just in case

Crtl + S to save click the save button just in case  Paranoid Parrot

LEAVES FACEBOOK OPEN ACCIDENTALLY EVERYONE THINKS I WAS HOME SATURDAY NIGHT!

LEAVES FACEBOOK OPEN ACCIDENTALLY  EVERYONE THINKS I WAS HOME SATURDAY NIGHT!  Paranoid Parrot

SENDS OUT VAGUE TEXT TO HOT CHICK OMG SHE TOOK IT THE WRONG WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

SENDS OUT VAGUE TEXT TO HOT CHICK OMG SHE TOOK IT THE WRONG WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!  Paranoid Parrot

sends text to girl i like panics about accidently sending x's

sends text to girl i like panics about accidently sending x's  Paranoid Parrot

girlfriend says she has to talk to you thinks that shes cheating on you

girlfriend says she has to talk to you thinks that shes cheating on you  Paranoid Parrot

Eats spaghetti Checks shirt for stains after every bite

Eats spaghetti Checks shirt for stains after every bite  Paranoid Parrot

Feel T-shirt tag brush against neck "Oh god, there's a spider in my shirt!"

Feel T-shirt tag brush against neck
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