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Paranoid Parrot

gets a pocket-dialed voicemail listens to scrambling for two minutes in case someone mentions his name

gets a pocket-dialed voicemail listens to scrambling for two minutes in case someone mentions his name Paranoid Parrot
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gifs now have .jpg extensions never look at any picture more than 5 seconds

gifs now have .jpg extensions never look at any picture more than 5 seconds Paranoid Parrot
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Accidentally bites into foil around breakfast burrito Gets stomach pumped

Accidentally bites into foil around breakfast burrito Gets stomach pumped Paranoid Parrot
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Crtl + S to save click the save button just in case

Crtl + S to save click the save button just in case Paranoid Parrot
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LEAVES FACEBOOK OPEN ACCIDENTALLY EVERYONE THINKS I WAS HOME SATURDAY NIGHT!

LEAVES FACEBOOK OPEN ACCIDENTALLY EVERYONE THINKS I WAS HOME SATURDAY NIGHT! Paranoid Parrot
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SENDS OUT VAGUE TEXT TO HOT CHICK OMG SHE TOOK IT THE WRONG WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

SENDS OUT VAGUE TEXT TO HOT CHICK OMG SHE TOOK IT THE WRONG WAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Paranoid Parrot
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sends text to girl i like panics about accidently sending x's

sends text to girl i like panics about accidently sending x's Paranoid Parrot
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girlfriend says she has to talk to you thinks that shes cheating on you

girlfriend says she has to talk to you thinks that shes cheating on you Paranoid Parrot
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Eats spaghetti Checks shirt for stains after every bite

Eats spaghetti Checks shirt for stains after every bite Paranoid Parrot
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Feel T-shirt tag brush against neck "Oh god, there's a spider in my shirt!"

Feel T-shirt tag brush against neck
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