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Paranoid Parrot

chair squeaks in class quick do it again so people don't think i farted

chair squeaks in class quick do it again so people don't think i farted Paranoid Parrot
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1,013 shares

walk quickly through girl section in store so people dont think I'm a pervert

walk quickly through girl section in store so people dont think I'm a pervert Paranoid Parrot
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1,010 shares

aruges with kid about existence of vampires kid wins no sleep for a while

aruges with kid about existence of vampires kid wins no sleep for a while Paranoid Parrot
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1,010 shares

wake up with chapped lips Oh God, I'm decomposing

wake up with chapped lips Oh God, I'm decomposing Paranoid Parrot
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1,007 shares

Flushes dorm toilet runs as fast as possible so it doesnt suck me in like a black hole

Flushes dorm toilet runs as fast as possible so it doesnt suck me in like a black hole Paranoid Parrot
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1,004 shares

3 Missed calls from a family member Someone has died

3 Missed calls from a family member Someone has died Paranoid Parrot
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1,003 shares

Reads terms and conditions Twice

Reads terms and conditions Twice Paranoid Parrot
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1,000 shares

Boss: "Please come over" i'm getting fired

Boss:
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999 shares

"girly" song playing up on ipod removes headphones to make sure nobody else can hear it
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999 shares

Locks door while using bathroom when home alone

Locks door while using bathroom when home alone Paranoid Parrot
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998 shares

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