Paranoid Parrot

chair squeaks in class quick do it again so people don't think i farted

chair squeaks in class quick do it again so people don't think i farted   Paranoid Parrot

walk quickly through girl section in store so people dont think I'm a pervert

walk quickly through girl section in store  so people dont think I'm a pervert  Paranoid Parrot

aruges with kid about existence of vampires kid wins no sleep for a while

aruges with kid about existence of vampires kid wins
no sleep for a while  Paranoid Parrot

wake up with chapped lips Oh God, I'm decomposing

wake up with chapped lips Oh God, I'm decomposing  Paranoid Parrot

Flushes dorm toilet runs as fast as possible so it doesnt suck me in like a black hole

Flushes dorm toilet runs as fast as possible so it doesnt suck me in like a black hole  Paranoid Parrot

3 Missed calls from a family member Someone has died

3 Missed calls from a family member Someone has died  Paranoid Parrot

Reads terms and conditions Twice

Reads terms and conditions Twice  Paranoid Parrot

Boss: "Please come over" i'm getting fired

Boss:

"girly" song playing up on ipod removes headphones to make sure nobody else can hear it

Locks door while using bathroom when home alone

Locks door while using bathroom when home alone  Paranoid Parrot
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