Redditors Wife

I bought him doughnuts He said he doesn't like bagels

I bought him doughnuts He said he doesn't like bagels  Redditors Wife

I told him I was in the mood. He said, "twist the base to turn it off."

I told him I was in the mood. He said,

I told him our son, a college freshmen, just died, He said, dead meme is dead.

I told him our son, a college freshmen, just died, He said, dead meme is dead.  Redditors Wife

I told him my mother died He said "r/firstworldproblems" Caption 3 goes here

I told him my mother
died He said

Submits her first post to reddit he creates a throwaway so he can downvote it

Submits her first post to reddit he creates a throwaway so he can downvote it  Redditors Wife

I said yes.

I said yes.   Redditors Wife

I told him a joke i heard he said "Also, lets go into the quary and throw things down there man"

I told him a joke i heard he said

I told my him his dick was too big for anal He said nice try, I reddit too.

I told my him  his dick was too big for anal He said nice try, I reddit too.  Redditors Wife

I asked if he was going to buy me a Mother's Day card He said he'd just get one from the bathroom

I asked if he was going to buy me a Mother's Day card  He said he'd just get one from the bathroom  Redditors Wife

he peed in the sink said "what would foul bachelor frog do?"

he peed in the sink said
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