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Scumbag Brain
Takes the time to think out a perfect response to a text. Forgets to send it.
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Paper that has to be signed by tomorrow? I'll remind you everywhere you go, but not at home
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HEY BRO, SEE you're thinking about asking a question now let's think about all the shit that could go wrong
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You've made it all day without a cigarette You should reward yourself with a cigarette
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So you finally exercised? Let me reward you with the craving of candy!
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feels successful it hasn't been on reddit in 5 minutes. celebrates by going on reddit.
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While dreaming you play some random made up game makes you mad when you wake up because you lost/made a mistake/woke up before you actually won
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Oh, you're trying to blow dry your hair? let me just play your ringtone on repeat.
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Oh, so you have to get up at 5:30am Let me wake you up every hour to look at the alarm clock
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Utterly disgusted every time part of toilet is touched Powerful compulsion to bite fingernails on ass-wiping hand.
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