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Scumbag Steve

"Sorry bro, was gone that weekend" Still doesn't answer his goddamn phone the next weekend
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Orders thirteen pounds of lunch meat wants it sliced one atom thick

Orders thirteen pounds of lunch meat wants it sliced one atom thick Scumbag Steve
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Says he's a diehard Ravens fan Unaware they were the Cleveland browns

Says he's a diehard Ravens fan Unaware they were the Cleveland browns Scumbag Steve
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ignores your texts all day brings all the people he was hanging out with over to your house unannounced when they have nowhere to go

ignores your texts all day brings all the people he was hanging out with over to your house unannounced when they have nowhere to go Scumbag Steve
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Is your twin brother still forgets it's your birthday

Is your twin brother still forgets it's your birthday Scumbag Steve
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My cigarettes are in the car

My cigarettes are in the car Scumbag Steve
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Pedestrian steps into bikelane... stiff arms him

Pedestrian steps into bikelane... stiff arms him Scumbag Steve
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Serious car accident after falling asleep at the wheel Walks away

Serious car accident after falling asleep at the wheel Walks away Scumbag Steve
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Makes you guess what? Dies

Makes you guess what? Dies Scumbag Steve
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Uses most of the ketchup doesn't turn bottle upside down

Uses most of the ketchup doesn't turn bottle upside down Scumbag Steve
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