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Sheltering Suburban Mom

"No, honey, you're not fat. Don't ever let anyone ever tell you otherwise." Has 8 year-old kid that's 4'6" and weighs 180 lbs.
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NEIGHBORS ALARM GOES OFF AT 2AM KIDS WILL NEED THERAPY

NEIGHBORS ALARM GOES OFF AT 2AM KIDS WILL NEED THERAPY Sheltering Suburban Mom
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Not saying your prayers at night heathen

Not saying your prayers at night heathen Sheltering Suburban Mom
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i'm not mad i'm just disappointed

i'm not mad i'm just disappointed Sheltering Suburban Mom
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Can't watch comedy central, too much swearing "Don't you fucking talk back to me like that"

Can't watch comedy central, too much swearing
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Complains about picking kids up at night Won't let them bus home in the dark

Complains about picking kids up at night Won't let them bus home in the dark Sheltering Suburban Mom
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glad teen daughter finally started "brushing her teeth" with the electric toothbrush for 20 minutes a day with the bathroom door locked

glad teen daughter finally started
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"You need to bring up your grades." Dropped out of school
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Be sure to wash the lettuce Mexicans have touched it

Be sure to wash the lettuce Mexicans have touched it Sheltering Suburban Mom
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"That game is rated 'E for Everyone?'" Everyone but you
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