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Sheltering Suburban Mom

Makes you sit at the peanut-free table through elementary and middle school Wonders why you're socially awkward

Makes you sit at the peanut-free table through elementary and middle school Wonders why you're socially awkward Sheltering Suburban Mom
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Calls all your female friends whores Sleeps with everybody

Calls all your female friends whores Sleeps with everybody Sheltering Suburban Mom
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lives in a frat house expects silence at 11pm

lives in a frat house expects silence at 11pm Sheltering Suburban Mom
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unnnnnhhh... furrrrrrrrt!

unnnnnhhh... furrrrrrrrt! Sheltering Suburban Mom
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you can't watch Harry Potter, it worships the devil Lets you watch Saw

you can't watch Harry Potter, it worships the devil Lets you watch Saw Sheltering Suburban Mom
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"You should be yourself" Dosen't go outside without 2cm thick of makeup and yoga pants
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"Young lady, you need to remain pure until marriage" College nickname: BJ Betty
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Home 10 minutes late from school? Drug test.

Home 10 minutes late from school? Drug test. Sheltering Suburban Mom
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child comes home a minute after curfew "You could've been raped"

child comes home a minute after curfew
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Sharpie in your room? Graffiti!

Sharpie in your room? Graffiti! Sheltering Suburban Mom
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