Sheltering Suburban Mom

Makes you sit at the peanut-free table through elementary and middle school Wonders why you're socially awkward

Makes you sit at the peanut-free table through elementary and middle school Wonders why you're socially awkward  Sheltering Suburban Mom

Calls all your female friends whores Sleeps with everybody

Calls all your female friends whores Sleeps with everybody  Sheltering Suburban Mom

lives in a frat house expects silence at 11pm

lives in a frat house expects silence at 11pm  Sheltering Suburban Mom

unnnnnhhh... furrrrrrrrt!

unnnnnhhh... furrrrrrrrt!  Sheltering Suburban Mom

you can't watch Harry Potter, it worships the devil Lets you watch Saw

you can't watch Harry Potter, it worships the devil Lets you watch Saw  Sheltering Suburban Mom

"You should be yourself" Dosen't go outside without 2cm thick of makeup and yoga pants

"Young lady, you need to remain pure until marriage" College nickname: BJ Betty

Home 10 minutes late from school? Drug test.

Home 10 minutes late from school? Drug test.   Sheltering Suburban Mom

child comes home a minute after curfew "You could've been raped"

child comes home a minute after curfew

Sharpie in your room? Graffiti!

Sharpie in your room? Graffiti!  Sheltering Suburban Mom
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