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Socially Awkward Penguin

Slows down so that People don't hold the door open for me

Slows down so that People don't hold the door open for me Socially Awkward Penguin
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"You're so brave! I'd never step on till I was at my ideal weight." I am at my ideal weight...
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Girl says Goodmorning Thank you

Girl says Goodmorning Thank you Socially Awkward Penguin
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Strange guy comes to mow backyard turns off lights, closes blinds, shuts self in room until he leaves

Strange guy comes to mow backyard turns off lights, closes blinds, shuts self in room until he leaves Socially Awkward Penguin
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her: "I love sucking your dick" me: "me too"

her:
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Walking dog when lifeguard habits take over start spinning bag of shit

Walking dog when lifeguard habits take over start spinning bag of shit Socially Awkward Penguin
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Tries to surprise someone at how expensive something is by telling them to guess They guess way over the actual price making it sound like nothing

Tries to surprise someone at how expensive something is by telling them to guess They guess way over the actual price making it sound like nothing Socially Awkward Penguin
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hot girl sends friend request on Facebook waits for a few hours before accepting, so as not to seem desperate

hot girl sends friend request on Facebook waits for a few hours before accepting, so as not to seem desperate Socially Awkward Penguin
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"Hey are you awake?" *five minutes later* "me neither"
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Makes joke about thai brides being ladyboys guy has a thai wife

Makes joke about thai brides being ladyboys guy has a thai wife Socially Awkward Penguin
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