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Socially Awkward Penguin

Cute girl tells me she plays Call of Duty "Actually, I prefer Battlefield"

Cute girl tells me she plays Call of Duty
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Text my dad I'm going to five guys with some friends "Hey, mind if I go do five guys with some friends?"

Text my dad I'm going to five guys with some friends
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Does not introduce herself to me or attempt to make conversation sends friend request on facebook while still at bbq

Does not introduce herself to me or attempt to make conversation sends friend request on facebook while still at bbq Socially Awkward Penguin
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New friend confesses that she is scared that she might be pregnant "Walk it off champ"

New friend confesses that she is scared that she might be pregnant
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Type out elaborate response to crush erase and send "haha" instead

Type out elaborate response to crush erase and send
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Asked to give a speech to the entire company. Vomits one sentence in

Asked to give a speech to the entire company. Vomits one sentence in Socially Awkward Penguin
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get hit by a car in a parking lot apologize to the driver

get hit by a car in a parking lot apologize to the driver Socially Awkward Penguin
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Remembers joke at urinal looks like I'm laughing at my own penis

Remembers joke at urinal looks like I'm laughing at my own penis Socially Awkward Penguin
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Goes to to talk to cute girl Chokes on drink

Goes to to talk to cute girl Chokes on drink Socially Awkward Penguin
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Leaves Store Without Buying Anything They Think I'm Stealing

Leaves Store Without Buying Anything They Think I'm Stealing Socially Awkward Penguin
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