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Socially Awkward Penguin

gives cashier money, goes to put hands in pockets while awaiting change no pockets

gives cashier money, goes to put hands in pockets while awaiting change no pockets Socially Awkward Penguin
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Hairstylist's breasts brush against your head "Sorry."

Hairstylist's breasts brush against your head
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Catch Own reflection's eye in rear-view mirror look away

Catch Own reflection's eye in rear-view mirror look away Socially Awkward Penguin
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Squeaky chair makes noise that sounds like a fart "excuse me"

Squeaky chair makes noise that sounds like a fart
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tries to hold in a cough in public sounds like you're throwing up

tries to hold in a cough in public sounds like you're throwing up Socially Awkward Penguin
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To scared to go to store and buy lotion for masturbation Uses hair conditioner instead

To scared to go to store and buy lotion for masturbation Uses hair conditioner instead Socially Awkward Penguin
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Is peeing when someone walks in Stops peeing and tries to fake the sound of running water

Is peeing when someone walks in Stops peeing and tries to fake the sound of running water Socially Awkward Penguin
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Pay for groceries with debit card put wallet back in pocket before transaction is finished and while card is still in use

Pay for groceries with debit card put wallet back in pocket before transaction is finished and while card is still in use Socially Awkward Penguin
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Behind someone on stairs "I'm not chasing you"

Behind someone on stairs
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Cool younger professor notices my Vandals shirt, says "anarchy burger" Fuck up lyrics and reply "kill the government"

Cool younger professor notices my Vandals shirt, says
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