Success Kid

made out with a girl who has a cold didn't get sick

made out with a girl who has a cold didn't get sick  Success Kid

Calls a girl the wrong name in bed She's into role-playing

Calls a girl the wrong name in bed She's into role-playing  Success Kid

forgot to go to work, called to apologize first words i hear "i'm so sorry i forgot it was today"

forgot to go to work, called to apologize first words i hear

Police lights in rear view mirror Cop passes me to pull someone else over

Police lights in rear view mirror Cop passes me to pull someone else over  Success Kid

never been friendzoned because I'm always up-front with my intentions

never been friendzoned because I'm always up-front with my intentions  Success Kid

No one destroys anything All the puke lands in the sink or toilet.

No one destroys anything All the puke lands in the sink or toilet.  Success Kid

Shows up to teach class drunk Students think you are Haymitch

Shows up to teach class drunk Students think you are Haymitch  Success Kid

Was about to call and dump my girlfriend She calls me to say that its over, but wants to have casual sex at least once a week

Was about to call and dump my girlfriend She calls me to say that its over, but wants to have casual sex at least once a week  Success Kid

Blacked out at the bar Didn't forget to close out my tab

Blacked out at the bar Didn't forget to close out my tab  Success Kid

fake injury at work for short term disability get job as stripper while off work. Also RX for pain meds.

fake injury at work for short term disability get job as stripper while off work. Also RX for pain meds.  Success Kid
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