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Success Kid

Took a shit wasn't completely liquid

Took a shit wasn't completely liquid Success Kid
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Nervously call work saying I'll be late for my shift "Thats perfect, didn't need you here for another 45 mins anyway"

Nervously call work saying I'll be late for my shift
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Walked home from the bar after halftime didn't miss any of the game

Walked home from the bar after halftime didn't miss any of the game Success Kid
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Went to the barber today She didn't screw up my haircut

Went to the barber today She didn't screw up my haircut Success Kid
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Pulled last of toilet paper off roll in a public restroom Exactly what I needed

Pulled last of toilet paper off roll in a public restroom Exactly what I needed Success Kid
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goes to email to inform lecture of fake illness lecture is cancelled

goes to email to inform lecture of fake illness lecture is cancelled Success Kid
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Girlfriend was on her period all week Ends on Valentine's Day

Girlfriend was on her period all week Ends on Valentine's Day Success Kid
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Went to the gym after new years No "resolutioners" early in the morning

Went to the gym after new years No
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Meets girlfriend online, because of her art and her awesome personality finds out she's also really attractive

Meets girlfriend online, because of her art and her awesome personality finds out she's also really attractive Success Kid
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born kind of chubby and weird looking Grows up to be Patton Oswalt

born kind of chubby and weird looking Grows up to be Patton Oswalt Success Kid
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