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"She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens, Til her boyfriend kicked her out in one of those crushing scenes. What was she to do, where was she to go She was out on her fanny." STOP! "Come and knock on our door, I killed her for you, The gun

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128 shares

How many problems do you have? 99.

How many problems do you have? 99.
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226,929 shares

I know you're trying to get me drunk so you can seduce me... do you have any idea how many shots it would take to get a girl like me to have sex with you? one

I know you're trying to get me drunk so you can seduce me... do you have any idea how many shots it would take to get a girl like me to have sex with you? one
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168,620 shares

You have got to have the worst aim ever! I bet you can't even shoot those wine bottles You're absolutely right

You have got to have the worst aim ever! I bet you can't even shoot those wine bottles You're absolutely right
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83,294 shares

I'm psychic, you know. I can see inside people's heads. Really? I can too!

I'm psychic, you know. I can see inside people's heads. Really? I can too!
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67,310 shares

john, I'm not going to have sex with you yes, you are

john, I'm not going to have sex with you yes, you are
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53,765 shares

what's the big deal about bacon? netflix.com/bacon

what's the big deal about bacon? netflix.com/bacon
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38,903 shares

My Zubat confused your pokemon! WHatcha gonna do now? It's super effective

My Zubat confused your pokemon! WHatcha gonna do now? It's super effective
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37,700 shares

So I stepped out of the kitchen today...

So I stepped out of the kitchen today...
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37,482 shares

Bet you can't shoot your gun without blinking. You win, I totally blinked.

Bet you can't shoot your gun without blinking. You win, I totally blinked.
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34,736 shares

No your wrong, heaven does exist send me a postcard

No your wrong, heaven does exist send me a postcard
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33,184 shares

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