I told him I had the strangest dream about a Paddington Bear fighting an army of Susan Boyles He just said "FIXED"

I told him I had the strangest dream about a Paddington Bear fighting an army of Susan Boyles He just said

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he spends $59.95 on groceries at walmart every week the fridge is always empty

he spends $59.95 on groceries at walmart every week the fridge is always empty

i asked him what he wanted to drink he said hitler did nothing wrong

i asked him what he wanted to drink he said hitler did nothing wrong

I told him we're out of toothpaste He said maybe you are

I told him we're out of toothpaste He said maybe you are

"It's late. Why won't you come to bed?" "Can't sleep, the British are coming!"

I asked him to ride me He told me I wasn't a whale shark

I asked him to ride me  He told me I wasn't a whale shark

i asked him if he still loved me he did a backflip

i asked him if he still loved me he did a backflip

I ASKED HIM IF I'M PRETTY. "IT DEPENDS WHICH COUNTRY YOU'RE IN"

I ASKED HIM IF I'M PRETTY.

asked him to get me wrinkle cream he came on my face

asked him to get me wrinkle cream he came on my face

I asked him if we could have sex He said "Maybe if you weren't dressed in an 8 year-old's pajamas"

I asked him if we could have sex He said

i told him i'd be a tiger in bed tonight he said i wasnt rare enough

i told him i'd be a tiger in bed tonight he said i wasnt rare enough
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