"In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god's blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my own intelligence." -Aalewis

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Gets letter from crush on valentine's day restraining order

Gets letter from crush on valentine's day restraining order

woke up to a blowjob fell asleep with his mouth open

woke up to a blowjob fell asleep with his mouth open

hires a stripper for a party mom shows up

hires a stripper for a party mom shows up

Friend-Zoned By the God damned OAG

Friend-Zoned By the God damned OAG

leaves car unlocked in case of polar bears car gets broken into and shit in

leaves car unlocked in case of polar bears car gets broken into and shit in

hasn't played games in a long time, decides to try playing a new one simcity

hasn't played games in a long time, decides to try playing a new one simcity

Makes Harlem Shake Video Has seizure when bass drops

Makes Harlem Shake Video Has seizure when bass drops

Wins 3 ranked games in a row Ranked issue causes LP not to change

Wins 3 ranked games in a row Ranked issue causes LP not to change

Immortal is trapped in a slab of concrete

Immortal is trapped in a slab of concrete

Can see in 3D for first time in his life Has to sleep 23 hours a day to maintain memory circuits

Can see in 3D for first time in his life Has to sleep 23 hours a day to maintain memory circuits
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