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Dad! I cut myself while shaving! I'm sure your face is fine. This wasn't on my face. DOES THIS MEAN I FINALLY GET TO SEE YOUR PENIS?

Dad! I cut myself while shaving! I'm sure your face is fine. This wasn't on my face. DOES THIS MEAN I FINALLY GET TO SEE YOUR PENIS? Stare Dad
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93,127 shares

If you're thinking "What is something I would normally say to this?" You've already been thinking too long to sound normal

If you're thinking
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26,533 shares

They laughed at my silence I silenced their laughter

They laughed at my silence I silenced their laughter Karate Kyle
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29,616 shares

Well At least I'm not a virgin

Well At least I'm not a virgin Optimistic Crab
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15,971 shares

i'd complain, but I suppose that would be quite shellfish

i'd complain, but I suppose that would be quite shellfish Optimistic Crab
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16,922 shares

Girlfriend y u no have big ass titties like your sister?

Girlfriend y u no have big ass titties like your sister? Y U No
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31,590 shares

Read first line of sexually oblivious rhino look it up at urban-dictionary

Read first line of sexually oblivious rhino look it up at urban-dictionary Sexually Oblivious Rhino
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12,623 shares

Bust a nut? Not if use my torque wrench

Bust a nut? Not if use my torque wrench Sexually Oblivious Rhino
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13,858 shares

Walk in on some guy jacking off He doesn't stop

Walk in on some guy jacking off He doesn't stop Hawkward
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16,250 shares

Threesome? My phone doesn't offer conference calling

Threesome? My phone doesn't offer conference calling Sexually Oblivious Rhino
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14,033 shares