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Actual Advice Mallard

During your pregnancy when your innie belly button becomes an outie do not be tempted to get your husband to sniff the awful crap that comes out of the crevices

During your pregnancy when your innie belly button becomes an outie do not be tempted to get your husband to sniff the awful crap that comes out of the crevices Actual Advice Mallard
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Worried about what people think about the size of your dick? Have a kid. He'll think its huge and will tell everyone about it.

Worried about what people think about the size of your dick? Have a kid. He'll think its huge and will tell everyone about it. Actual Advice Mallard
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Need instant karma? Post to r/gonewild

Need instant karma? Post to r/gonewild Actual Advice Mallard
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Hit Stop twice then hit play it will start the movie from the beginning

Hit Stop twice then hit play it will start the movie from the beginning Actual Advice Mallard
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If you ever accidentally jizz on your shorts Grab a toaster strudel and snap a picture

If you ever accidentally jizz on your shorts Grab a toaster strudel and snap a picture Actual Advice Mallard
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If you send your children to a school that cares more about faith than education Don't be surprised when they grow to resent both you, and your religion.

If you send your children to a school that cares more about faith than education Don't be surprised when they grow to resent both you, and your religion. Actual Advice Mallard
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One dot is a period. Three dots is an ellipsis... Two dots doesn't mean anything and it makes you look stupid..

One dot is a period. Three dots is an ellipsis... Two dots doesn't mean anything and it makes you look stupid.. Actual Advice Mallard
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If the bible doesn't forbid it it isn't worth the trouble

If the bible doesn't forbid it it isn't worth the trouble Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't speed It's dangerous and you could get a ticket

Don't speed It's dangerous and you could get a ticket Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't fart in an elevator alone Someone can still walk in

Don't fart in an elevator alone Someone can still walk in Actual Advice Mallard
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