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Actual Advice Mallard

Masturbate when you wake up To jump-start your metabolism

Masturbate when you wake up To jump-start your metabolism Actual Advice Mallard
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if you have small feet buy your unisex shoes from the little boys department

if you have small feet buy your unisex shoes from the little boys department Actual Advice Mallard
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Always fill out comment cards at fast food restaurants You can change someone's life

Always fill out comment cards at fast food restaurants You can change someone's life Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't look at the floor under the table ignorance is bliss

Don't look at the floor under the table ignorance is bliss Actual Advice Mallard
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If you're planning on breaking up with your girlfriend wear a cup

If you're planning on breaking up with your girlfriend wear a cup Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't ask to try on somebody's glasses It's the equivalent of borrowing a wheelchair

Don't ask to try on somebody's glasses It's the equivalent of borrowing a wheelchair Actual Advice Mallard
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if an imgur link doesn't load properly, try adding .jpg to the end of the url

if an imgur link doesn't load properly, try adding .jpg to the end of the url Actual Advice Mallard
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Make sure you eat or you will starve and die

Make sure you eat or you will starve and die Actual Advice Mallard
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If you drink a soft drink Wait at least 30 minutes before brushing your teeth, your teeth will thank you.

If you drink a soft drink Wait at least 30 minutes before brushing your teeth, your teeth will thank you. Actual Advice Mallard
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When checking out at the grocery store, put things on the conveyor in order of colds, cans, bread, clothes, etc. It makes the cashiers job much easier and they will very much appreciate it.

When checking out at the grocery store, put things on the conveyor in order of colds, cans, bread, clothes, etc. It makes the cashiers job much easier and they will very much appreciate it. Actual Advice Mallard
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