Actual Advice Mallard

if you like to burn candles in your house keep your carkeys by one of them so you don't forget to put them out if you leave

if you like to burn candles in your house keep your carkeys by one of them so you don't forget to put them out if you leave  Actual Advice Mallard

buy a cheap umbrella and carry it with you on rainy days Offer it to a hot girl that doesn't have one

buy a cheap umbrella and carry it with you on rainy days Offer it to a hot girl that doesn't have one  Actual Advice Mallard

Don't go to Walmart On the 1st of the month

Don't go to Walmart On the 1st of the month  Actual Advice Mallard

When mugging someone Wear a mask to avoid jail time

When mugging someone Wear a mask to avoid jail time  Actual Advice Mallard

Try putting A strip of toilet paper in the bowl before you crap to counter the deadly splashback

Try putting A strip of toilet paper in the bowl before you crap to counter the deadly splashback  Actual Advice Mallard

to prevent water from splashing your ass when taking a dump lay a few slices of T.P. on top of the water

to prevent water from splashing your ass when taking a dump lay a few slices of T.P.
 on top of the water  Actual Advice Mallard

If you are about to have sex with your significant other Go masterbate in the bathroom and then decide if its still a good idea

If you are about to have sex with your significant other Go masterbate in the bathroom and then decide if its still a good idea  Actual Advice Mallard

If you bring a girl back to your place play lana del rey, trust me gentlemen

If you bring a girl back to your place play lana del rey, trust me gentlemen   Actual Advice Mallard

If you are about to masturbate masturbate in the bathroom and then decide if it is still a good idea

If you are about to masturbate masturbate in the bathroom and then decide if it is still a good idea  Actual Advice Mallard

Not a strong swimmer? Turn and swim on your back to save energy

Not a strong swimmer? Turn and swim on your back to save energy  Actual Advice Mallard
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