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Actual Advice Mallard

If you are ever asked how many women you have slept with say "countless" because you can't count to zero

If you are ever asked how many women you have slept with say
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If you start a new loadf of bread, dont eat end piece it acts as a lid to keep the rest of the bread from getting dry

If you start a new loadf of bread, dont eat end piece it acts as a lid to keep the rest of the bread from getting dry Actual Advice Mallard
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can't remember if you washed your hair while showering rub your hair firmly and if it squeaks, you did

can't remember if you washed your hair while showering rub your hair firmly and if it squeaks, you did Actual Advice Mallard
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Care about your karma? don't comment in /r/adviceanimals

Care about your karma? don't comment in /r/adviceanimals Actual Advice Mallard
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Son, Always ask her to the condom on for you makes it hard later on for her to claim she didn't consent

Son, Always ask her to the condom on for you makes it hard later on for her to claim she didn't consent Actual Advice Mallard
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Be careful where you put two things: Your signature and your dick

Be careful where you put two things: Your signature and your dick Actual Advice Mallard
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turn off your network connection when playing the ad-supported version of a game. You'll save battery life, won't be interrupted by ads, and the game will run more smoothly overall.

turn off your network connection when playing the ad-supported version of a game. You'll save battery life, won't be interrupted by ads, and the game will run more smoothly overall. Actual Advice Mallard
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If it's Duck Season Just cover the signs with "Rabbit Season" signs. No one will ever know.

If it's Duck Season Just cover the signs with
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APPLY STAIN REMOVER TO THE UNDERIDE OF THE STAIN IT FORCES THE STAIN OFF THE FABRIC INSTEAD OF THROUGH IT

APPLY STAIN REMOVER TO THE UNDERIDE OF THE STAIN IT FORCES THE STAIN OFF THE FABRIC INSTEAD OF THROUGH IT Actual Advice Mallard
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If you need a quick weapon while on the go unscrew a squeegee from its base at the gas station

If you need a quick weapon while on the go unscrew a squeegee from its base at the gas station Actual Advice Mallard
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