Actual Advice Mallard

DUCK!

 DUCK!  Actual Advice Mallard

Emoticons read top-down from left to right. Like so: :-) I don't even know what the fuck this is: (: Stop that.

Emoticons read top-down from left to right.  

Like so:  :-) I don't even know what the fuck this is:  (:

Stop that.   Actual Advice Mallard

Want to eat salad without worrying about dressing intake? Try dipping your fork into a small cup of dressing as you eat.

Want to eat salad without worrying about dressing intake? Try dipping your fork into a small cup of dressing as you eat.   Actual Advice Mallard

A Cakeday is not your birthday It is the day you joined reddit

A Cakeday is not your birthday It is the day you joined reddit  Actual Advice Mallard

If you want free thumbtacks Visit a well-traveled intersection and take them from the telephone pole

If you want free thumbtacks Visit a well-traveled intersection and take them from the telephone pole  Actual Advice Mallard

Run out of laundry soap often? Buy an extra bottle in a scent you dont like. You'll never be out of soap - just in case - but washing your clothes with a scent you don't like will incentivize you to restock soon.

Run out of laundry soap often? Buy an extra bottle in a scent you dont like.  You'll never be out of soap - just in case - but washing your clothes with a scent you don't like will incentivize you to restock soon.  Actual Advice Mallard

remember they're people, too

remember  they're people, too  Actual Advice Mallard

If you really counted 10 million cheerios You should get a girlfriend

If you really counted 10 million cheerios You should get a girlfriend  Actual Advice Mallard

If you're contemplating suicide Avoid driving through a Sam's Club parking lot

If you're contemplating suicide Avoid driving through a Sam's Club parking lot  Actual Advice Mallard

When you don't want to talk about it Never tell whomever is asking "I don't want to talk about it"

When you don't want to talk about it Never tell whomever is asking
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