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Actual Advice Mallard

Don't run me over and sever my head you dick

Don't run me over and sever my head you dick Actual Advice Mallard
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if you dont want to be bothered at work frown and hurry people will assume youre already doing something you dont want to do

if you dont want to be bothered at work frown and hurry people will assume youre already doing something you dont want to do Actual Advice Mallard
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If you pick up a hitchhiker and it turns sour Try to get the cops to pull you over by speeding

If you pick up a hitchhiker and it turns sour Try to get the cops to pull you over by speeding Actual Advice Mallard
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If you're a guy who doesn't like going to college parties just don't fucking go to college parties

If you're a guy who doesn't like going to college parties just don't fucking go to college parties Actual Advice Mallard
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Never try to plan out what is going to happen with a girl in your head it's not going to happen that way, and you're going to be disappointed

Never try to plan out what is going to happen with a girl in your head it's not going to happen that way, and you're going to be disappointed Actual Advice Mallard
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Picking a check out aisle? Pick the young cashier with something left to prove in life.

Picking a check out aisle? Pick the young cashier with something left to prove in life. Actual Advice Mallard
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If your dog is going to barf, carry him to the bathtub he'll learn to go there on his own and make cleanup easy.

If your dog is going to barf, carry him to the bathtub he'll learn to go there on his own and make cleanup easy. Actual Advice Mallard
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always buy mid-high end liquor lessen your hangover for tomorrow

always buy mid-high end liquor lessen your hangover for tomorrow Actual Advice Mallard
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problems with body odor? trim your armpit hair to about a quarter inch.

problems with body odor? trim your armpit hair to about a quarter inch. Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't know how reddit works? try using the duck meme

Don't know how reddit works? try using the duck meme Actual Advice Mallard
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