Actual Advice Mallard

Don't run me over and sever my head you dick

 Don't run me over and sever my head you dick  Actual Advice Mallard

if you dont want to be bothered at work frown and hurry people will assume youre already doing something you dont want to do

if you dont want to be bothered at work frown and hurry people will assume youre already doing something you dont want to do  Actual Advice Mallard

If you pick up a hitchhiker and it turns sour Try to get the cops to pull you over by speeding

If you pick up a hitchhiker and it turns sour Try to get the cops to pull you over by speeding  Actual Advice Mallard

If you're a guy who doesn't like going to college parties just don't fucking go to college parties

If you're a guy who doesn't like going to college parties just don't fucking go to college parties  Actual Advice Mallard

Never try to plan out what is going to happen with a girl in your head it's not going to happen that way, and you're going to be disappointed

Never try to plan out what is going to happen with a girl in your head it's not going to happen that way, and you're going to be disappointed  Actual Advice Mallard

Picking a check out aisle? Pick the young cashier with something left to prove in life.

Picking a check out aisle? Pick the young cashier with something left to prove in life.  Actual Advice Mallard

If your dog is going to barf, carry him to the bathtub he'll learn to go there on his own and make cleanup easy.

If your dog is going to barf, carry him to the bathtub he'll learn to go there on his own and make cleanup easy.  Actual Advice Mallard

always buy mid-high end liquor lessen your hangover for tomorrow

always buy mid-high end liquor lessen your hangover for tomorrow  Actual Advice Mallard

problems with body odor? trim your armpit hair to about a quarter inch.

problems with body odor? trim your armpit hair to about a quarter inch.  Actual Advice Mallard

Don't know how reddit works? try using the duck meme

Don't know how reddit works? try using the duck meme  Actual Advice Mallard
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