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Actual Advice Mallard

Can't Sleep? Try imagining How tired you'll be the next day the longer you stay up; the thought of it will make you drowsy.

Can't Sleep? Try imagining How tired you'll be the next day the longer you stay up; the thought of it will make you drowsy. Actual Advice Mallard
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Need a ride home? Order a pizza delivery to your home from whichever pizza place you are nearest. Offer the delivery guy a nice tip and ask if you can just ride along.

Need a ride home? Order a pizza delivery to your home from whichever pizza place you are nearest. Offer the delivery guy a nice tip and ask if you can just ride along. Actual Advice Mallard
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having trouble grabbing ice cubes in the tray? Lick your fingers

having trouble grabbing ice cubes in the tray? Lick your fingers Actual Advice Mallard
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If you're an Atheist Then stay away from r/Atheism

If you're an Atheist Then stay away from r/Atheism Actual Advice Mallard
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If you ever get get arrested for a DUI, force yourself to vomit in the back of the cop car. Cops are trained to wait approx 45 min to take your B.A.C at the cop station when the alcohol that is full in your stomach has peaked.

If you ever get get arrested for a DUI, force yourself to vomit in the back of the cop car. Cops are trained to wait approx 45 min to take your B.A.C at the cop station when the alcohol that is full in your stomach has peaked. Actual Advice Mallard
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too lazy to click on the itialicize and bold button on microsoft word? use ctrl+i or ctrl+b

too lazy to click on the itialicize and bold button on microsoft word? use ctrl+i or ctrl+b Actual Advice Mallard
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Tired of your mirror fogging after a shower? Apply liquid soap to your mirror beforehand.

Tired of your mirror fogging after a shower? Apply liquid soap to your mirror beforehand. Actual Advice Mallard
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The only way to get Karma is to say how impossible it is to get karma

The only way to get Karma is to say how impossible it is to get karma Actual Advice Mallard
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quack quack quack

quack quack quack Actual Advice Mallard
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don't want people to hear you pooping place a few sheets of toilet paper in the bowl before you go

don't want people to hear you pooping place a few sheets of toilet paper in the bowl before you go Actual Advice Mallard
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