Actual Advice Mallard

Can't Sleep? Try imagining How tired you'll be the next day the longer you stay up; the thought of it will make you drowsy.

Can't Sleep? Try imagining How tired you'll be the next day the longer you stay up; the thought of it will make you drowsy.  Actual Advice Mallard

Need a ride home? Order a pizza delivery to your home from whichever pizza place you are nearest. Offer the delivery guy a nice tip and ask if you can just ride along.

Need a ride home?  Order a pizza delivery to your home from whichever pizza place you are nearest. Offer the delivery guy a nice tip and ask if you can just ride along.  Actual Advice Mallard

having trouble grabbing ice cubes in the tray? Lick your fingers

having trouble grabbing ice cubes in the tray? Lick your fingers  Actual Advice Mallard

If you're an Atheist Then stay away from r/Atheism

If you're an Atheist Then stay away from r/Atheism  Actual Advice Mallard

If you ever get get arrested for a DUI, force yourself to vomit in the back of the cop car. Cops are trained to wait approx 45 min to take your B.A.C at the cop station when the alcohol that is full in your stomach has peaked.

If you ever get get  arrested for a DUI, force yourself to vomit in the back of the cop car.  Cops are trained to wait approx 45 min to take your B.A.C at the cop station when the alcohol that is full in your stomach has peaked.  Actual Advice Mallard

too lazy to click on the itialicize and bold button on microsoft word? use ctrl+i or ctrl+b

too lazy to click on the itialicize and bold button on microsoft word? use ctrl+i or ctrl+b  Actual Advice Mallard

Tired of your mirror fogging after a shower? Apply liquid soap to your mirror beforehand.

Tired of your mirror fogging after a shower? Apply liquid soap to your mirror beforehand.  Actual Advice Mallard

The only way to get Karma is to say how impossible it is to get karma

The only way to get Karma is to say how impossible it is to get karma  Actual Advice Mallard

quack quack quack

quack  quack   quack  Actual Advice Mallard

don't want people to hear you pooping place a few sheets of toilet paper in the bowl before you go

don't want people to hear you pooping place a few sheets of toilet paper in the bowl before you go  Actual Advice Mallard
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