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Actual Advice Mallard

Need to make an important Decision? Masturbate first.

Need to make an important Decision? Masturbate first. Actual Advice Mallard
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Do what you want and live your life But wear a condom

Do what you want and live your life But wear a condom Actual Advice Mallard
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If people are trying to outsmart merging by speeding by everyone Pull over just enough to block their path but not enough to lose your spot... and enjoy watching them get infuriated

If people are trying to outsmart merging by speeding by everyone Pull over just enough to block their path but not enough to lose your spot... and enjoy watching them get infuriated Actual Advice Mallard
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if you complain about not getting bitches you should stop calling women bitches

if you complain about not getting bitches you should stop calling women bitches Actual Advice Mallard
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If you didn't like the new Daft Punk album Listen to it again. It takes a bit to get used to the new sound, but it's worth it. Also, Daft Punk has earned a second listen.

If you didn't like the new Daft Punk album Listen to it again. It takes a bit to get used to the new sound, but it's worth it. Also, Daft Punk has earned a second listen. Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't smoke? Take a tea break and tell the smokers to go fuck themselves

Don't smoke? Take a tea break and tell the smokers to go fuck themselves Actual Advice Mallard
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If your boyfriend owns a fleshlight He's probably gonna take any real pussey he can get

If your boyfriend owns a fleshlight He's probably gonna take any real pussey he can get Actual Advice Mallard
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If you're dating a girl that has all the same interests as you Remember that when you break up, she still has the same interests as you

If you're dating a girl that has all the same interests as you Remember that when you break up, she still has the same interests as you Actual Advice Mallard
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If you're a meth cook don't put a vanity plate with your street name on your car

If you're a meth cook don't put a vanity plate with your street name on your car Actual Advice Mallard
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If a website requires your payment info for a free trial, give them your paypal account. You can then go into your account and cancel the recurring payment to that site.

If a website requires your payment info for a free trial, give them your paypal account. You can then go into your account and cancel the recurring payment to that site. Actual Advice Mallard
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