Actual Advice Mallard

Need to make an important Decision? Masturbate first.

Need to make an important Decision? Masturbate first.  Actual Advice Mallard

Do what you want and live your life But wear a condom

Do what you want and live your life But wear a condom  Actual Advice Mallard

If people are trying to outsmart merging by speeding by everyone Pull over just enough to block their path but not enough to lose your spot... and enjoy watching them get infuriated

If people are trying to outsmart merging by speeding by everyone Pull over just enough to block their path but not enough to lose your spot... and enjoy watching them get infuriated  Actual Advice Mallard

if you complain about not getting bitches you should stop calling women bitches

if you complain about not getting bitches you should stop calling women bitches  Actual Advice Mallard

If you didn't like the new Daft Punk album Listen to it again. It takes a bit to get used to the new sound, but it's worth it. Also, Daft Punk has earned a second listen.

If you didn't like the new Daft Punk album  Listen to it again. It takes a bit to get used to the new sound, but it's worth it. Also, Daft Punk has earned a second listen.  Actual Advice Mallard

Don't smoke? Take a tea break and tell the smokers to go fuck themselves

Don't smoke? Take a tea break and tell the smokers to go fuck themselves  Actual Advice Mallard

If your boyfriend owns a fleshlight He's probably gonna take any real pussey he can get

If your boyfriend owns a fleshlight He's probably gonna take any real pussey he can get  Actual Advice Mallard

If you're dating a girl that has all the same interests as you Remember that when you break up, she still has the same interests as you

If you're dating a girl that has all the same interests as you Remember that when you break up, she still has the same interests as you  Actual Advice Mallard

If you're a meth cook don't put a vanity plate with your street name on your car

If you're a meth cook don't put a vanity plate with your street name on your car  Actual Advice Mallard

If a website requires your payment info for a free trial, give them your paypal account. You can then go into your account and cancel the recurring payment to that site.

If a website requires your payment info for a free trial, give them your paypal account. You can then go into your account and cancel the recurring payment to that site.  Actual Advice Mallard
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