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Paranoid Parrot

Gets dared to streak, Changes name!

Gets dared to streak, Changes name! Paranoid Parrot
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Goes into the bathroom to poop Checks behind shower cutain to make sure there is no mass murderer hiding behind it

Goes into the bathroom to poop Checks behind shower cutain to make sure there is no mass murderer hiding behind it Paranoid Parrot
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Boss says have a nice day off Check my schedule every hour to make sure Im not missing work

Boss says have a nice day off Check my schedule every hour to make sure Im not missing work Paranoid Parrot
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doesn't use automatic flushing toilets the government has cameras in them

doesn't use automatic flushing toilets the government has cameras in them Paranoid Parrot
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took a few of the same turns as the person in front of me? they think i'm a ravenous stalking murderer

took a few of the same turns as the person in front of me? they think i'm a ravenous stalking murderer Paranoid Parrot
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Boss messages you saying Hi Close Reddit and all non work related tabs

Boss messages you saying Hi Close Reddit and all non work related tabs Paranoid Parrot
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Girlfriend Didn't wake me up to say goodbye Oh god I said something in my sleep and upset her and he's breaking up with me and moving out and I'll never see my dog again might as well just disappear into a drunken void now and save time

Girlfriend Didn't wake me up to say goodbye Oh god I said something in my sleep and upset her and he's breaking up with me and moving out and I'll never see my dog again might as well just disappear into a drunken void now and save time Paranoid Parrot
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Opens GiF Mutes Sound

Opens GiF Mutes Sound Paranoid Parrot
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Reads meme about swallowing while having a sore throat Swallows to make sure throat isn't sore

Reads meme about swallowing while having a sore throat Swallows to make sure throat isn't sore Paranoid Parrot
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drive through intersection check mirror to make sure light was green

drive through intersection check mirror to make sure light was green Paranoid Parrot
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