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Paranoid Parrot

i do think there's a squatch in these woods

i do think there's a squatch in these woods Paranoid Parrot
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thinks all jokes are a cover for hardcore anal fetish

thinks all jokes are a cover for hardcore anal fetish Paranoid Parrot
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Locks car makes it beep at least three times

Locks car makes it beep at least three times Paranoid Parrot
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Goes to make meme about games auto-saving Checks 'paranoid parrot + most popular' to see if it exists already IT DOES

Goes to make meme about games auto-saving Checks 'paranoid parrot + most popular' to see if it exists already IT DOES Paranoid Parrot
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Girlfriend doesn't use LOL or emoticons She's breaking up with me

Girlfriend doesn't use LOL or emoticons She's breaking up with me Paranoid Parrot
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people talking in a foreign language over there? definitely talking about how much of a white asshole i am

people talking in a foreign language over there? definitely talking about how much of a white asshole i am Paranoid Parrot
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Make eye contact with person They're secretly a serial killer who now has a grudge against me and will track me down and murder me in my sleep if I don't leave the country and adopt a new identity...and he's also a police officer so if I try to report him

Make eye contact with person They're secretly a serial killer who now has a grudge against me and will track me down and murder me in my sleep if I don't leave the country and adopt a new identity...and he's also a police officer so if I try to report him Paranoid Parrot
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Browsing /r/gonewild is that my ex?

Browsing /r/gonewild is that my ex? Paranoid Parrot
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Teacher gets called by the front office Oh god its my turn to get suspended

Teacher gets called by the front office Oh god its my turn to get suspended Paranoid Parrot
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Check zipper is up after peeing in work Check 7 more times before leaving toilet

Check zipper is up after peeing in work Check 7 more times before leaving toilet Paranoid Parrot
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