Paranoid parrot flat tire

Forgets to take out tampon before bed Going to die of Toxic shock syndrome

Forgets to take out tampon before bed Going to die of  Toxic shock syndrome  Paranoid parrot flat tire

stops masturbating to check if the door is locked one more time

stops masturbating to check if the door is locked one more time  Paranoid parrot flat tire

hover over x as window is loading in case it's kevin ware breaking his leg

hover over x as window is loading in case it's kevin ware breaking his leg  Paranoid parrot flat tire

2 straight missed calls from family OMG everyone is dead

2 straight missed calls from family OMG everyone is dead  Paranoid parrot flat tire

finger slips while typing password retypes entire password

finger slips while typing password retypes entire password  Paranoid parrot flat tire

Car in front of me keeps putting turn signal on after me i'm being followed!

Car in front of me keeps putting turn signal on after me i'm being followed!  Paranoid parrot flat tire

Gets house off-campus still keeps door open in mixed company

Gets house off-campus still keeps door open in mixed company  Paranoid parrot flat tire

Read about National Defense Authorization Act Walk outside and see police car

Read about National Defense Authorization Act Walk outside and see police car  Paranoid parrot flat tire

"Sorry, cannot attach this to your message" The government must know and be blocking me from attaching it

Starts the car Happy it didn't blow up

Starts the car Happy it didn't blow up  Paranoid parrot flat tire
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