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Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

Gets girls phone number After killing her pet and stealing her money

Gets girls phone number After killing her pet and stealing her money Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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opportunity to get lucky on new years resolution was celibacy

opportunity to get lucky on new years resolution was celibacy Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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excitedly orders hamburger given raw meat

excitedly orders hamburger given raw meat Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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Buys flowers, catches CTA train, then jogs 2.5 miles to the North Shore to surprise mother on Mother's day. Not home, stranded in the North Shore holding bouquet of flowers.

Buys flowers, catches CTA train, then jogs 2.5 miles to the North Shore to surprise mother on Mother's day. Not home, stranded in the North Shore holding bouquet of flowers. Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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Impresses girl jumping off the big diving board Emerges from water with snot on face

Impresses girl jumping off the big diving board Emerges from water with snot on face Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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Get cute girl in class's number and name Open up computer to her facebook page while sitting with her the next day

Get cute girl in class's number and name Open up computer to her facebook page while sitting with her the next day Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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Smiled at by crush Realizes she was laughing at new haircut

Smiled at by crush Realizes she was laughing at new haircut Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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Company president says "Hi" in the hallway "I'm great, thanks!"

Company president says
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had to miss phone call because too busy mistook reverberations of urinating for vibration of phone on silent

had to miss phone call because too busy mistook reverberations of urinating for vibration of phone on silent Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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Makes awesome insiders joke In the wrong crowd

Makes awesome insiders joke In the wrong crowd Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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