Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

"Damn, you feel so tight... It's going to hurt like fuck when you give birth."

Girl: "Hey you smell REALLY good today" Me: "Thanks! I like your hair. it reminds me of that movie castaway"

Girl:

Hot girl I met at a party agreed go out on a date with me can't take her to dinner because I hate eating in front of people I don't know

Hot girl I met at a party agreed go out on a date with me can't take her to dinner because I hate eating in front of people I don't know  Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

Made my first succesful post ever posted it by accident

Made my first succesful post ever posted it by accident  Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

Proud that I'd somehow lost 18 pounds Turned out the scale was broken

Proud that I'd somehow lost 18 pounds Turned out the scale was broken  Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

goes in FOR A PUNCH during a crime scence

goes in FOR A PUNCH during a crime scence  Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

I Don't have a girlfriend But I love her

I Don't have a girlfriend But I love her  Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

Finds out the hottest girl at the bar is a stripper. "Hi, so when do you work?"

Finds out the hottest girl at the bar is a stripper.

bombs boston becomes new hot subject for teenage girls

bombs boston becomes new hot subject for teenage girls  Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

Hot Girl tells me she had a dream where we kissed She has a bf

Hot Girl tells me she had a dream where we kissed She has a bf  Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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