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Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

open elevator door before it closes for cute girl rushing to the door forgot you had farted beforehand

open elevator door before it closes for cute girl rushing to the door forgot you had farted beforehand Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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goes in for the first kiss at the movies during a rape scene

goes in for the first kiss at the movies during a rape scene Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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Wins bingo terrified of being the center of attention

Wins bingo terrified of being the center of attention Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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Sees a cute girl in time to eat a mint. Chokes on it trying to say "hi."

Sees a cute girl in time to eat a mint. Chokes on it trying to say
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Girls like me to stay far away from them

Girls like me to stay far away from them Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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Asks cute girl to the movies Has tickets to Star Wars

Asks cute girl to the movies Has tickets to Star Wars Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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Brings two girls home from the bar Sleeps on the couch

Brings two girls home from the bar Sleeps on the couch Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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goes home with fellow redditor first thing she does is show me her 357 magnum

goes home with fellow redditor first thing she does is show me her 357 magnum Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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runs into old friend and asks "hows your son doing?" "he died"

runs into old friend and asks
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Whiskey. Straight. No Chaser. Down the wrong pipe.

Whiskey. Straight. No Chaser. Down the wrong pipe. Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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