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Socially Awkward Penguin

Cute girl looks and smiles "what the fuck do I have on my face?"

Cute girl looks and smiles
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Cheerful 'good morning' for the boss *crickets*

Cheerful 'good morning' for the boss *crickets* Socially Awkward Penguin
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New neighbors just moved in across the street. Let's go introduce ourselves. Ah Shit!

New neighbors just moved in across the street. Let's go introduce ourselves. Ah Shit! Socially Awkward Penguin
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Kid: "Does [your dog] eat legos?" Me: "I don't think so. He would if they were food." I'm so lame. What kind of idiot lets their dog sniff legos if it might eat them? He would if they were food? What does that even mean? If they were food they wouldn't be

Kid:
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*TEACHER'S PHONE RINGS* hopes parents died so can get out of here!

*TEACHER'S PHONE RINGS* hopes parents died so can get out of here! Socially Awkward Penguin
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Can't decide whether to respond with "you're welcome" or "no problem" "You're problem..."

Can't decide whether to respond with
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receives hug at wildfire and likes it makes a point of holding his staff off to the side through the hug to avoid using both arms and appearing too eager to hug

receives hug at wildfire and likes it makes a point of holding his staff off to the side through the hug to avoid using both arms and appearing too eager to hug Socially Awkward Penguin
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stranger: sup? me: pretty good stranger: how's it going? me: not much

stranger: sup? me: pretty good stranger: how's it going? me: not much Socially Awkward Penguin
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ASks fellow student with busted lip if she got punched in the face "yes"

ASks fellow student with busted lip if she got punched in the face
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"I haven't been to this part of town in a while." Five blocks from house
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