Text friends to go to your own Birthday dinner. 6 people say "okay" 5 of them last minute bailed. Brain tells me this is some sort of elaborate surprise party... Get to dinner...got dinner to go... played Diablo...weeped

Text friends to go to your own Birthday dinner. 6 people say

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Is ignored at work for being socially awkward and shy is treated overly nice by co-workers after mass shootings

Is ignored at work for being socially awkward and shy is treated overly nice by co-workers after mass shootings

I have imaginary friends But they only talk to each other.

I have imaginary friends But they only talk to each other.

One night stand "that's all the storage space I'll need."

One night stand

i'm not attractive enough for the real world or clever enough for the internet

i'm not attractive enough for the real world or clever enough for the internet

First words of the day spoken 6 hours after waking up

First words of the day spoken 6 hours after waking up

Have you had sex with... NO

Have you had sex with... NO

You overestimate my powers

You overestimate my powers

parents tell you not to have parties while they're on vacation no problem

parents tell you not to have parties while they're on vacation no problem

Make Awesome new ringtone don't hear it for two weeks

Make Awesome new ringtone  don't hear it for two weeks

Forgot to put phone on silent at the movie theater Didn't matter

Forgot to put phone on silent at the movie theater Didn't matter
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