I'm thinking of getting some shopping done today. I said, I'm thinking of getting some shopping done today.

I'm thinking of getting some shopping done today.  I said, I'm thinking of getting some shopping done today.  - I'm thinking of getting some shopping done today.  I said, I'm thinking of getting some shopping done today.   Coffee With Jesus

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This is my first time speed dating. Tell me about yourself. Well, I died for your sins. Really? Yep, so you owe me at least a BJ. The bathroom is free, let's go.

This is my first time speed dating.  Tell me about yourself. Well, I died for your sins. Really? Yep, so you owe me at least a BJ. The bathroom is free, let's go.

So, do have a criminal past? Well, I attacked some money changers, was tried and killed by the Romans, and oh yeah, I killed a fig tree. You killed a fig tree? Yeah, that damn thing wasn't growing any fruit, so I popped a curse on that bitch!

So, do have a criminal past? Well, I attacked some money changers, was tried and killed by the Romans, and oh yeah, I killed a fig tree. You killed a fig tree? Yeah, that damn thing wasn't growing any fruit, so I popped a curse on that bitch!

Do you know what Muhammad looks like? Yeah, we hang out all the time up in Heaven. Can I see a picture of him? Sure, but then we'd have to kill you.

Do you know what Muhammad looks like? Yeah, we hang out all the time up in Heaven. Can I see a picture of him? Sure, but then we'd have to kill you.

So you came in peace? Nope, I came with the sword, bitch. I came to pit son against father and daughter against mother Do you mean metaphorically? Nope literally. In a cage match. Check it out on pay-per-view, sugartits.

So you came in peace? Nope, I came with the sword, bitch. I came to pit son against father and daughter against mother Do you mean metaphorically? Nope literally. In a cage match. Check it out on pay-per-view, sugartits.

I'm thinking of getting some shopping done today. I said, I'm thinking of getting some shopping done today.

I'm thinking of getting some shopping done today.  I said, I'm thinking of getting some shopping done today.

So what do you do for a living? I'm kind of a free spirit, I roam the world helping the poor, I also do some carpentry work on the side. I'm sorry, but I'm looking for someone with more stability. Is my foot up your ass more stable?!

So what do you do for a living? I'm kind of a free spirit, I roam the world helping the poor, I also do some carpentry work on the side. I'm sorry, but I'm looking for someone with more stability. Is my foot up your ass more stable?!

You can do it put your back into it I can do it put yo' ass into it Put your back into it Put yo ass into it

You can do it put your back into it I can do it put yo' ass into it Put your back into it Put yo ass into it

So Jesus, what do you think about this apostate, sugarcoated gospel being preached these days? Well, Martha, when you say "sugarcoated" in reference to the gospel that is being preached, are you inferring that the true gospel is bitter? Well, I just don

So Jesus, what do you think about this apostate, sugarcoated gospel being preached these days?
 Well, Martha, when you say

So what was it like on the cross? Kind of boring. My iPhone was dead. You had a smart phone on the cross? Yeah, me and Jobs are real tight.

So what was it like on the cross? Kind of boring. My iPhone was dead. You had a smart phone on the cross? Yeah, me and Jobs are real tight.
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