I thought saying "Jacking off" was synonymous with "slacking off" When my teacher asked where my homework was, I told her "Sorry I jacked off this weekend"

I thought saying

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WHEN I WAS A KID... I thought the laugh tracks on sitcoms were actually people in their living room laughing at the show. i would sit close to the TV and laugh as loud as i could hoping to hear myself on TV

WHEN I WAS A KID... I thought the laugh tracks on sitcoms were actually people in their living room laughing at the show. i would sit close to the TV and laugh as loud as i could hoping to hear myself on TV

I ate leaves as a kid because the tree stars from the land before time looked delicious

I ate leaves as a kid because the tree stars from the land before time looked delicious

My friend told me scientists had discovered Pokemon I got lost in the woods looking for a Pikachu

My friend told me scientists had discovered Pokemon I got lost in the woods looking for a Pikachu

WHEN I WAS A KID... I thought the tip was money that my dad forgot, so I took it everytime and never told anyone

WHEN I WAS A KID... I thought the tip was money that my dad forgot, so I took it everytime and never told anyone

When my mom gave me money for lost teeth I snuck it in her purse because I knew cash was tight

When my mom gave me
money for lost teeth I snuck it in her purse because I knew cash was tight

I thought saying "Jacking off" was synonymous with "slacking off" When my teacher asked where my homework was, I told her "Sorry I jacked off this weekend"

I thought saying

When I was a kid, my best friend spoke mandarin at home when I met his parents I said, sorry I don't speak orange

When I was a kid, my best friend spoke mandarin at home when I met his parents I said, sorry I don't speak orange

Watched soap operas with nana as a toddler, thought that was just how adults kissed French kissed dad at thanksgiving bc i thought i was being mature

Watched soap operas with nana as a toddler, thought that was just how adults kissed French kissed dad at thanksgiving bc i thought i was being mature

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE, I FOUND A USED CONDOM AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A SNAKE SKIN I STRETCHED IT OVER MY ARM AND CALLED MY SELF SNAKE MAN

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE, I FOUND A USED CONDOM AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A SNAKE SKIN I STRETCHED IT OVER MY ARM AND CALLED MY SELF SNAKE MAN

WHEN I WAS A KID... I loved the smell of my vagina. So I stuck my finger in my vagina and made my grandma smell my finger.

WHEN I WAS A KID... I loved the smell of my vagina. So I stuck my finger in my vagina and made my grandma smell my finger.
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