Actual Advice Mallard

save water

SAVE WATER SAVE YOUR YOURSELF Actual Advice Mallard

so you want a girl

IF A GIRL IS ALL YOU WAN'T THEN GO FUCK KAREN MARIE, SHE WILL LIKE IT. Actual Advice Mallard

nearly lost my 2 front teeth today

DONT WORKOUT  TOO HARD IN THE GYM Actual Advice Mallard

To [New] Drivers in Big Cities

IF YOU TAKE A RIGHT ON RED, LOOK LEFT AND RIGHT CHANCES ARE THERE MIGHT BE A PEDESTRIAN CROSSING Actual Advice Mallard

Do whatcha gotta do

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO JUST DO IT Actual Advice Mallard

Trust No One

BE CAREFUL IN LIFE. YOUR ACTIONS WILL BITE YOU BACK IN THE ASS. Actual Advice Mallard

Try This, It Helps

IF YOU WANT TO LOOK GOOD WITH YOUR SHIRT OFF SOMEWHERE  JUMP ON THE TRAMPOLINE BEFORE, IT FLATTENS YOUR STOMACH BY LOOSENING GASES Actual Advice Mallard

News Flash People...

DREDGE THE SOMERSET LEVELS WE SAID WELL...THIS IS MY 3RD FLOOR DUCK POND Actual Advice Mallard

or just become a bird killing sociapath

HATE FLAPPY BIRD? VISIT THIS WEBSITE TO TAKE YOUR ANGER OUT ON HIM HTTP://SQUISHYBIRD.COM/ Actual Advice Mallard

fu coyu

WANT TO MAKE FLAPPY BIRD MORE FUN AND RELAXING CHOOSE YOUR FAVOURITE SONG, PLUG IN YOUR HEADPHONES AND TRY TO PLAY THROUGH THE ENTIRE SONG. IF YOU FAIL, JUST RESTART THE SONG AND TRY AGAIN Actual Advice Mallard