Actual Advice Mallard

Turn signals on BEFORE intersection!

PUT YOUR TURN SIGNAL ON BEFORE YOU GET TO THE INTERSECTION ALLOWS DRIVERS TO ADJUST FOR YOU SLOWING OR STOPPING Actual Advice Mallard

It doesn't matter if you have social anxiety or not, this is just common courtesy.

IF YOU DECIDE TO FLAKE ON A PARTY OR EVENT INVITE... HAVE THE DECENCY TO TELL THE YOUR THE HOST YOU CAN'T MAKE IT, EVEN IF IT'S LAST MINUTE. Actual Advice Mallard

Tired of no having money for emergencies

SAVE AT LEAST 10% OF YOUR PAYCHECK YOU WILL APRECIATE IT LATER Actual Advice Mallard

hahaha smile mallard

WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE? USE AMAZON SMILE AND AMAZON WILL DONATE PART OF YOUR PURCHASE TO YOUR DESIGNATED CHARITY OR RESCUE Actual Advice Mallard

Be cruel to be kind

GET USED TO SAYING NO TO YOUR KIDS THEY WILL APPRECIATE IT MUCH MORE WHEN YOU DO SAY YES Actual Advice Mallard

Maybe also "platitude water-fowl"

STOP CALLING ME

It should be common knowledge

IF YOU HAVE A MISSED CALL AND A VOICEMAIL LISTEN TO THE VOICEMAIL FIRST Actual Advice Mallard

Your title doesn't look funny enough. Be creative! :)

IF YOUR S.O. EXPECTS YOU TO CHANGE YOUR MIND EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVEN'T ADDRESSED YOUR REASONS FOR HAVING A PARTICULAR OPINION, THEN FIND SOMEONE WHO ISN'T A CONTROL FREAK AND CARES MORE ABOUT FINDING OUT THE TRUTH OR THE BEST ANSWER TOGETHER INSTEAD OF EXPECTING YOU TO OBEY THEM. Actual Advice Mallard

Unless delivery costs too much

BUY FROM AMAZON  RETAIL SHOPS INFLATE PRICES FOR PROFIT  Actual Advice Mallard

In response to all the NYE GG DDs who got harrassed for not drinking

ORDER A WATER WITH ICE AND A LEMON WEDGE IF YOU'RE NOT DRINKING. IT LOOKS LIKE A VODKA SODA AND PEOPLE DON'T HARRASS YOU. Actual Advice Mallard