Actual Advice Mallard

Toilet Toothbrush

KEEP YOUR TOOTHBRUSH AWAY FROM THE TOILET BACTERIA SPREADS ALL OVER THE BATHROOM AFTER YOU FLUSH Actual Advice Mallard

Eat More Chicken

EAT MORE CHICKEN, BEEF  OR BEARDED MEN IN CAMO,  BUT STAY CLEAR OF THE DUCKS Actual Advice Mallard

To all you new world travelers...

NEVER ENTER A RESTAURANT WHERE SOMEONE ON THE STREET IS TRYING TO GET YOU TO COME INSIDE THEY KNOW YOU'RE A TOURIST AND THEY ARE GOING TO OVERCHARGE YOU Actual Advice Mallard

How to rememer what year to write down

IF YOUR STRUGGLING TO REMEMBER WHAT YEAR TO WRITE DOWN  ADD 1 TO THE PREVIOUS YEAR Actual Advice Mallard

Penis & Vagina

YOUR PROFESSOR IS GOING TO SAY 'PENIS' AND 'VAGINA' A LOT DURING REPRO BLOCK DON'T GIGGLE. Actual Advice Mallard

How would you know how funny the title is?

IF YOU PLAN ON EATING LOLLIES DURING A MOVIE SCREENING OPEN THE PACKET BEFORE THE MOVIE STARTS Actual Advice Mallard

Learned this while studying

IF YOU'RE RESEARCHING BACTERIAL FLORA IN THE MOUTH DON'T EAT SIMULTANEOUSLY Actual Advice Mallard

Duck You

YOU THINK YOU'RE CLEVER... DUCK YOU Actual Advice Mallard

Lying Husband

 WHEN THE TIME COMES AND YOU LOOK FOR ME, I WON'T BE THERE ANYMORE. NOT BECAUSE OF YOU... BUT BECAUSE I'M NOT STUPID ENOUGH TO STAY  Actual Advice Mallard

when squeezing a lemon...

SQUEEZE CUT SIDE UP YOUR HANDS MAY GET STICKY BUT WASHING YOUR HANDS IS QUICKER THAN PICKING SEEDS OUT OF YOUR FOOD OR DRINK Actual Advice Mallard