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Actual Advice Mallard

Being late is last season..

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BEING FASHIONABLY LATE YOU'RE JUST A DOUCHEBAG. Actual Advice Mallard
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125 shares

I have dreadlocks

DONT GET IN CAT FIGHTS IF YOU HAVE A WEAVE ALL YOUR BUSINESS WILL BE ON THE STREET Actual Advice Mallard
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this is my

ANAMACONDA COCKS Actual Advice Mallard
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always choose red

WHEN IN DOUBT FOLLOW THE MAJORITY.. EUH.. I MEAN, CHOOSE RED Actual Advice Mallard
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174 shares

post spam

YOUR FRIENDS POST SPAMMING YOUR FACEBOOK? REMOVE THE POST THEN THEY CAN'T POST ANYTHING! Actual Advice Mallard
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535 shares

Pay attention

IF YOU PARENTS CALL JUST TO SAY HELLO CALL THEM MORE OFTEN Actual Advice Mallard
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Marry him

IF YOU LIKE,LOVE AND ADMIRE SOMEONE MARRY HIM Actual Advice Mallard
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97 shares

Funny boyfriend

IF YOU HAVE A FUNNY BOYFRIEND AND YOU LIKE IT DONT' TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY ALL THE TIME CAUSE HE WON'T BE FUNNY ANYMORE Actual Advice Mallard
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186 shares

Oncoming Traffic

IF YOU'RE GOING AROUND A PARKED CAR, YIELD FOR ONCOMING TRAFFIC YOU FUCKING CUNTS Actual Advice Mallard
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130 shares

Do this if you suspect you're about to have a heart attack

CHEW 325MG OF ASPIRIN AND LET IT DISSOLVE UNDER YOUR TONGUE BEFORE CALLING 911 IT WILL ABSORB INTO YOUR BODY QUICKER AND HELP LESSEN THE EXTENT OF BLOOD CLOTTING Actual Advice Mallard
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137 shares