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Paranoid Parrot

accidentally sleep in on 4/20 they all think I'm toking

accidentally sleep in on 4/20 they all think I'm toking Paranoid Parrot
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7,727 shares

First date with girl. Scratches her inner thigh. HERPES

First date with girl. Scratches her inner thigh. HERPES Paranoid Parrot
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15,613 shares

Leave water bottle in a public place Someone pissed in it

Leave water bottle in a public place Someone pissed in it Paranoid Parrot
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7,624 shares

Left a drink on the table at the club while we went to dance. Don't drink any more of it! Someone put GHB in it!

Left a drink on the table at the club while we went to dance. Don't drink any more of it! Someone put GHB in it! Paranoid Parrot
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4,080 shares

Not sure which cup is mine get new cup for the 4th time

Not sure which cup is mine get new cup for the 4th time Paranoid Parrot
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36,450 shares

take shower constantly check corners of the ceiling for spiders

take shower constantly check corners of the ceiling for spiders Paranoid Parrot
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13,490 shares

Roll over in bed and it squeaks everyone in house thinks i'm masturbating

Roll over in bed and it squeaks everyone in house thinks i'm masturbating Paranoid Parrot
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8,018 shares

HOUSEMATES TALKING IN HALLWAY THEY'RE PLOTTING AGAINST ME

HOUSEMATES TALKING IN HALLWAY THEY'RE PLOTTING AGAINST ME Paranoid Parrot
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10,654 shares

Embarrassing song starts playing on iPod Everyone heard it through the earbuds

Embarrassing song starts playing on iPod Everyone heard it through the earbuds Paranoid Parrot
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11,562 shares

run fingers through hair, one strand of hair comes out I'm going bald

run fingers through hair, one strand of hair comes out I'm going bald Paranoid Parrot
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8,813 shares