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Paranoid Parrot

Crossing a one-way street Looks both ways

Crossing a one-way street Looks both ways Paranoid Parrot
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174,995 shares

Hits snooze on on the alarm clock Spends the next 9 minutes wide awake worrying it accidently turned off

Hits snooze on on the alarm clock Spends the next 9 minutes wide awake worrying it accidently turned off Paranoid Parrot
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192,830 shares

farts in public when it's cold out checks ass to see if steam came out

farts in public when it's cold out checks ass to see if steam came out Paranoid Parrot
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170,174 shares

Read about diseases with one in a million prevalence Convinced I have at least six of them

Read about diseases with one in a million prevalence Convinced I have at least six of them Paranoid Parrot
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106,876 shares

Slight chest discomfort Better write my will

Slight chest discomfort Better write my will Paranoid Parrot
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105,932 shares

3+5? Better use calculator

3+5? Better use calculator Paranoid Parrot
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138,646 shares

Game Auto-Saves Better save it manually just to be sure

Game Auto-Saves Better save it manually just to be sure Paranoid Parrot
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435,146 shares

in a room full of people and I need to clear my throat better hold it, or they'll think I have something to say

in a room full of people and I need to clear my throat better hold it, or they'll think I have something to say Paranoid Parrot
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127,216 shares

Effective 99.9% of the time? I don't like those odds

Effective 99.9% of the time? I don't like those odds Paranoid Parrot
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379,797 shares

Thinks something insulting about a stranger Immediately thinks nice things in case they can read minds

Thinks something insulting about a stranger Immediately thinks nice things in case they can read minds Paranoid Parrot
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253,358 shares