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Socially Awkward Penguin

for the record penguin

URBAN LEGEND WITH THE WHOLE TIGHT VAGINA VIRGIN SEX THING. WE'RE SAVAGES IN THE USA. WE'RE JUST NOT GOING TO BE LIARS ANYMORE. Socially Awkward Penguin
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131 shares

for the record penguin

1. KRATOS AND LYMOMDRA WILL NOT GO MORE THAN A WEEK WITHOUT SEX 2. BEIN A PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY POW SUCKS 3. JUST THROWIN IT OUT THERE(TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT), BUT WHEN THEY GET TOGETHER IF HE DOES THE LID THING EVERY DAY FOR A MONTH SHE HAS TO GET A TATTOO IN THE REGION THAT ONLY HE KNOWS ABOUT. Socially Awkward Penguin
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113 shares

for the record penguin

ALMOST EVERY GUY MASTURBATES WHO ISN'T GETTING LAID ATLEAST ONCE A WEEK. IF A GUY ISN'T GETTING LAID HIS WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND SHOULD TELL HIM WHO HE CAN MASTURBATE TO. WE'RE SAVAGES IN THE USA. AND WE'RE GONA BE THE BEST SAVAGES ON THE PLANET. Socially Awkward Penguin
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150 shares

for the record penguin

SOME PENGUINS ARE FRIENDS WITH SOME RAPTORS DOIN THE WHOLE PEEPHOLE THING WILL GET YOU STEALTH SUITED. THIS IS A WARNING. Socially Awkward Penguin
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123 shares

for the record penguin

SCENARIO- KRATOS AND LYMOMDRA DOIN THE WHOLE HOLDIN HAND THING THEN YOU LOOK AWAY FOR 2 SECONDS AND HE'S BOINKING HER BRAINS OUT. GO. THE FUTURE OF TV. Socially Awkward Penguin
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181 shares

for the record penggui

(MOST)POLITICIANS(USA) SOLD THEIR SOUL TO THE DEVIL. Socially Awkward Penguin
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153 shares

for the record penguin

LIFE DOES SUCK WHEN YOU LIVE IN REALITY. IF YOU HAVE A PARTNER IT'S SO MUCH BETTER. AT LEAST YOUR LIFE ISN'T A LIE. Socially Awkward Penguin
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125 shares

for the record penguin

WHEN YOU DON'T LET NATURE TAKE ITS COURSE, YOU DON'T EVOLVE OR MUTATE. YOU JUST BECOME A PROFESSIONAL SCAM ARTIST WHEN YOU DON'T LET NATURE TAKE ITS COURSE. Socially Awkward Penguin
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167 shares

for the record penguin

EVERY ORACLE LISTENS TO YOU IF YOU MAKE SENSE. IF SHE WANTS TO DATE A PIECE OF GARBAGE THEN LET HER. USE IT AS AT HOME POLITICS INSTEAD OF COCK BLOCKING HER, HER ENTIRE LIFE. IT HAS TO BE GENUINE THOUGH. NO FICTIONAL BOYFRIENDS BRIBED BY THE PARENTS. Socially Awkward Penguin
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121 shares

for the record penguin

ORACLES WEAR BAGGY CLOTHES. DON'T USE MAKEUP. ORACLES DADS HAVE TO BE THE BIGGEST ASSHOLES TO CHURCH ELDERS (IN A GOOD WAY). ORACLES DADS HAVE TO DO RAPTOR STUFF TO THE ELDERS. Socially Awkward Penguin
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136 shares