Socially Awkward Penguin

for the record penguin

OUR PARENTING STYLE IS THAT BAD IN THE USA. OUR GREATNESS COMES OUT OF PURE STUPIDITY. AMERICANS HAVE A METAPHORICAL MATRIX THEIR ENTIRE LIFE. ONCE THEY GET OUT OF IT, WATCH OUT. THE ONLY WAY CHRISTIANS HAVE POWER IS IF THEIR IS A MATRIX. PASTORS THINK THEY SHOULD CONTROL EVERY SINGLE SOCIAL INTERACTION IN THE USA. THAT IS HOW DUMB OF A COU Socially Awkward Penguin

for the record penguin

BREAKN EVERYTHING DOWN MATHMATICALLY. THE MUTANT/SHEEP RATIO IS WHAT KEEPS EVERYTHING IN BALANCE IN THE USA. THE VARIABLE OF PSYCHOPATH SABOTEURS ALL OF

for the record penguin

 OR FIND AN EMBASSY IN THE USA. Socially Awkward Penguin

for the record penguin

 JUST FLY TO RUSSIA. IF YOU'RE A TRINITY OR A WARDEN IT WILL BE THE MOST NOBLE THING YOU EVER DID IN YOUR LIFE. Socially Awkward Penguin

for the record penguin

 IF YOU THINK YOU MIGHT BE A TRINITY OR A WARDEN JUST GIVE YOUR KIDS TO RUSSIA RIGHT NOW. YOU CAN DO IT WITH PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY. WALK INTO A RUSSIAN GOV BUILDING. JUST LEAVE ONE OF HIS THERE. THEY'LL TAKE CARE OF IT. Socially Awkward Penguin

for the record penguin

 ONE OF HIS WERE NOT MEANT TO BE RAISED IN THE AVERAGE USA CHRISTIAN HOUSEHOLD. Socially Awkward Penguin

for the record penguin

 IF IT'S TOO MUCH TROUBLE HELPING

for the record penguin

 HAVING PHONY CHARACTER IS EVEN WORSE THAN HAVING NO CHARACTER. Socially Awkward Penguin

for the record penguin

 NOBODY RESPECTS GOLDEN RETRIEVER TELEPATHS, NO MATTER HOW BIG THEY ARE. MAYBE IDIOTS WILL. THEY WILL HATE THEIR LIVES THOUGH. PEOPLE RESPECT CHARACTER IN THE LONG RUN. IN THE SHORT RUN MAYBE BEING BIG WILL COUNT FOR SOMETHING. NOT IN THE LONG RUN. Socially Awkward Penguin

for the record penguin

 NOBODY RESPECTS GOLDEN RETRIEVER TELEPATHS, NO MATTER HOW BG THEY ARE. MAYBE IDIOTS WILL. THEY WILL HATE THEIR LIVES THOUGH. Socially Awkward Penguin