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Break into paranoid parrot's house don't move anything, leave door cracked open

Break into paranoid parrot's house don't move anything, leave door cracked open Evil Plotting Raccoon
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815,561 shares

Wears hoodie all day, no one sees the shirt you're wearing. Wear it again tomorrow!

Wears hoodie all day, no one sees the shirt you're wearing. Wear it again tomorrow! Foul Bachelorette Frog
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43,564 shares

made a bag of microwave popcorn every kernel popped

made a bag of microwave popcorn every kernel popped Success Kid
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37,271 shares

Ones milkshakes does not simply bring all the boys to the yard

Ones milkshakes does not simply bring all the boys to the yard Boromir
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85,873 shares

girl you like tells you that she thinks another guy is cute "me too"

girl you like tells you that she thinks another guy is cute
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37,481 shares

everything clever on facebook is stolen from reddit

everything clever on facebook is stolen from reddit Sudden Clarity Clarence
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343,077 shares

Dick in a box birthday present ups delivered

Dick in a box birthday present ups delivered Insanity Wolf
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246,455 shares

I'm going in and out of jail all the time to teach business classes to convicts

I'm going in and out of jail all the time to teach business classes to convicts Successful Black Man
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64,252 shares

I ordered a pizza an hour ago i forgot and got a burger

I ordered a pizza an hour ago i forgot and got a burger First World Stoner Problems
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113,231 shares

wears gloves in chemistry lab to keep acid off his skin doesn't take them off when he goes to the bathroom

wears gloves in chemistry lab to keep acid off his skin doesn't take them off when he goes to the bathroom College Freshman
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443,653 shares