Hears college girls are easy never finds out

Hears college girls are easy never finds out  Forever Alone

Im gonna drink this 40 dollar bottle of wine with my wife tonight.

Im gonna drink this 40 dollar bottle of wine with my wife tonight.  Successful Black Man

friend offered fruit flavored candy found something red

friend offered 
fruit flavored candy found something red  Success Kid

goes on birth control because of acne and cramps

goes on birth control because of acne and cramps  Forever Alone

"Spelling counts" test has misspelled words on it

"Dude trust me, I live in the real world" 19 years old

99% of the cookies Are eaten by 1% of the monsters

99% of the cookies Are eaten by 1% of the monsters  Cookieman

"police, open up" just kidding

I have a major in pediatrics and a minor in my back seat

I have a major in pediatrics and a minor in my back seat  Pedobear

Not sure if fireworks Or gun battle in the streets

Not sure if fireworks  Or gun battle in the streets  Futurama Fry