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Actual Advice Mallard
Stop making sweeping generalizations about people and get to know them individually
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Cold sleeping at night wear some fucking clothes
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In the event of a power outage, use a telephone with a cord Telephone lines are seperate from power lines
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Convince roommate the university monitors all explicit internet traffic Never akwardly walk in on him masturbating
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if you really want to post an image you found on the internet run it through karmadecay.com first if you want to avoid making a repost
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If you have heartburn at night sleep on your left side
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If you are an atheist and don't want to see the many Facebook ads that Christians are directing at you report it as misleading. It will lower their quality score and you won't have to see it again.
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Every woman has a pussy every pussy has a cunt
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If you or someone you know may be involved in a mass tragedy, send text messages instead of making phone calls The phone lines get busy fast and people will have trouble getting through, but the text messages will still work.
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Don't make jokes about the Boston Bombings It's a dick move and you'll be downvoted to hell for it
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