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Actual Advice Mallard

After you scrape the ice off your car Use the brush to wipe off your pant legs and shoes

After you scrape the ice off your car Use the brush to wipe off your pant legs and shoes Actual Advice Mallard
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If you want to cook cheap and easy meals buy a student recipe book as they are made for a small budget

If you want to cook cheap and easy meals buy a student recipe book as they are made for a small budget Actual Advice Mallard
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Masturbate before masturbating to decide if its a good idea

Masturbate before masturbating to decide if its a good idea Actual Advice Mallard
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Pretend to obsessively take up a new hobby next time you did something wrong, the hobby will be taken away as punishment

Pretend to obsessively take up a new hobby next time you did something wrong, the hobby will be taken away as punishment Actual Advice Mallard
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dont ever visit /r/spacedicks

dont ever visit /r/spacedicks Actual Advice Mallard
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instead of asking for permission it's sometimes better to ask for forgiveness

instead of asking for permission it's sometimes better to ask for forgiveness Actual Advice Mallard
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Avoid scheduling elective surgery in June That's when all the new residents start at the hospital

Avoid scheduling elective surgery in June That's when all the new residents start at the hospital Actual Advice Mallard
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When there are two doors Pull the one on the left, and push the one on the right

When there are two doors Pull the one on the left, and push the one on the right Actual Advice Mallard
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No spoon to stir creamer into coffee? Walk back to your desk; the motion will stir it in

No spoon to stir creamer into coffee? Walk back to your desk; the motion will stir it in Actual Advice Mallard
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have an awkward boner while dancing with your date? She doesn't mind it. (proof in comments section)

have an awkward boner while dancing with your date? She doesn't mind it. (proof in comments section) Actual Advice Mallard
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