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Actual Advice Mallard

If you ever need to take a shit Just chew some gum

If you ever need to take a shit Just chew some gum Actual Advice Mallard
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simply lock your car doors at night most random car burglars will move to the next car

simply lock your car doors at night most random car burglars will move to the next car Actual Advice Mallard
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WHEN GOING ON VACATION TAKE A PICTURE OF YOUR KEY IN YOUR DOOR'S LOCKED POSITION AS YOU LEAVE

WHEN GOING ON VACATION TAKE A PICTURE OF YOUR KEY IN YOUR DOOR'S LOCKED POSITION AS YOU LEAVE Actual Advice Mallard
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Never order a Big mac Just order 2 Mcdoubles with Mac sauce.

Never order a Big mac Just order 2 Mcdoubles with Mac sauce. Actual Advice Mallard
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Instead of swearing when something goes wrong say "Oh well, better luck next time!" it will change your persona without you even knowing it!

Instead of swearing when something goes wrong say
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say "nice hair, it must be fake" she will say no feel it then grab a handful at the root and tug it gently, this action is similar to hair pulling while making love, she will now subconciously want to f you

say
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Try shaving with a cut throat or double edged razor There's skill involved so you'll feel a sweet sense of accomplishment every morning, also you'll get a much closer shave

Try shaving with a cut throat or double edged razor There's skill involved so you'll feel a sweet sense of accomplishment every morning, also you'll get a much closer shave Actual Advice Mallard
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If all your stories start with "One time in high school/college" You need to get out more

If all your stories start with
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If you're changing out your brake or derailleur cables, only buy one. You can reuse your old rear cable on the front.

If you're changing out your brake or derailleur cables, only buy one. You can reuse your old rear cable on the front. Actual Advice Mallard
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Don't go to r/popping Just stay away

Don't go to r/popping Just stay away Actual Advice Mallard
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