Actual Advice Mallard

If you want your dog to live longer get up off your ass and walk them every day, trust me, it works.

If you want your dog to live longer get up off your ass and walk them every day, trust me, it works.  Actual Advice Mallard

Take the roads It may look longer and seem more dull but you won't waste hours hopping up mountains, possibly falling to your death, only to come to a vertical wall by walking in a straight direction to the location

Take the roads It may look longer and seem more dull but you won't waste hours hopping up mountains, possibly falling to your death, only to come to a vertical wall by walking in a straight direction to the location  Actual Advice Mallard

If you're having trouble running away from things in your dreams run on all fours, for some reason your arms have super strength

If you're having trouble running away from things in your dreams run on all fours, for some reason your arms have super strength  Actual Advice Mallard

To prevent a UTI wipe front to back, not back to front

To prevent a UTI wipe front to back, not back to front  Actual Advice Mallard

Learn how to braid a girl's hair girls love it when you play with their hair and when you get to sleep with them it won't get in your face

Learn how to braid a girl's hair girls love it when you play with their hair and when you get to sleep with them it won't get in your face  Actual Advice Mallard

if your ass won't get clean put a wad of toilet paper under running water

if your ass won't get clean put a wad of toilet paper under running water  Actual Advice Mallard

If you are having trouble raping a female Get a few friends to help

If you are having trouble raping a female Get a few friends to help  Actual Advice Mallard

When you want to judge the quality of an anime Masturbate before watching it

When you want to judge the quality of an anime Masturbate before watching it  Actual Advice Mallard

Don't use your main hand to open doors and flushing toilets. You are much more likely to touch your face and mouth with that hand, and thereby get sick.

Don't use your main hand to open doors and flushing toilets. You are much more likely to touch your face and mouth with that hand, and thereby get sick.  Actual Advice Mallard

Flip your chili cans every once in a while It'll prevent the solids from sticking to the bottom

Flip your chili cans every once in a while It'll prevent the solids from sticking to the bottom  Actual Advice Mallard
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