Actual Advice Mallard

If you can't decide whether you should take a shower, You should take a shower.

If you can't decide whether you should take a shower, You should take a shower.  Actual Advice Mallard

Be wary of unsolicited advice

Be wary of unsolicited advice  Actual Advice Mallard

If you are taking your stroller onto public transit wait until everyone else is on That way, No one has to squeeze past and you'll get the front seats anyway

If you are taking your stroller onto public transit wait until everyone else is on That way, No one has to squeeze past and you'll get the front seats anyway  Actual Advice Mallard

If you're gonna try to suck your own dick Lock the fucking door.

If you're gonna try to suck your own dick Lock the fucking door.  Actual Advice Mallard

Hold your drink with your hand covering the top so you dont get roofied

Hold your drink with your hand covering the top so you dont get roofied  Actual Advice Mallard

If your significant other decides to lose weight/get in shape, Start looking for a new one because they are already banging some one else

If your significant other decides to lose weight/get in shape, Start looking for a new one because they are already banging some one else  Actual Advice Mallard

When you don't get the job because you "lack experience" its the polite way to tell you they don't like you

When you don't get the job because you

Put my beak on perfect today but none of these ladies throwing free bread will notice because they're human

Put my beak on perfect today but none of these ladies throwing free bread will notice because they're human  Actual Advice Mallard

If your dog groomer looks you straight in the face and says your dog was an angel, They were lying.

If your dog groomer looks you straight in the face and says your dog was an angel, They were lying.  Actual Advice Mallard

Looking for a small object that you lost? Check your pant pockets from yesterday

Looking for a small object that you lost? Check your pant pockets from yesterday  Actual Advice Mallard
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